"Twelve Things I Like About Wisconsin"

c. 2007 Rod Ice
All rights reserved
(4-07)

Note to Readers: What follows here is roadgoing diary of our most recent trip outside of Ohio. Those of you with some connection to ‘The Dairy State’ may smile knowingly upon reading this column. And those who don’t are likely to raise an eyebrow… and grin while learning about a curious and different way of living.

Recently, Liz, Soccer Fairy, Leigh, and I boarded the family sedan for a trip to visit northern relatives. It was our desire to escape the foul weather of Cleveland in favor of brighter skies and smiling faces. Prevailing atmospheric patterns meant that traveling ‘up’ the map would temporarily liberate us from winter! Once we were west of Toledo, hope for a cheerful interlude began to grow. While our girls watched DVDs, my wife and I discussed plans for the voyage. It would be an opportunity for Liz to reflect on her roots, and share childhood stories once more. I couldn’t avoid chanting as we drove. "HERE WE GO CHEESEHEADS, HERE WE GO!"

As miles of highway disappeared, my thoughts drifted toward composing the next Maple Leaf column. Predictably, I was in a cheddar-ific mood! Echoes of polka music and Vince Lombardi were prevalent. I pondered details for a personal list of favorite points about the distant state. By the time we had reached Chicago, useful words were beginning to develop. I sipped Starbucks coffee as we left Illinois, and wrote phrases on the wind…

TWELVE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT WISCONSIN

12: THE STUMPF FIDDLE – This fanciful instrument is said to have evolved from the ‘rhythm stick’ imported by immigrants from Old Europe. In the Upper Midwest, legends say that it was named for a mysterious, peg-legged fellow known as Harry Stumpf. Specifications of a proper fiddle vary, and they may be factory-bred, or homemade. But all encompass the idea of some sort of long handle, onto which various noisemaking devices are added. These may include wooden blocks, door springs, pie pans or beer trays, bulb horns, and bells. A ball on the stick’s bottom serves to give extra ‘bounce’ while expressive music is being played.

11: OLD-FASHIONED, NEIGHBORHOOD TAVERNS – In many places across America, such small establishments used to thrive. Each offered an authentically local interpretation of pub culture. But today, many of these iconoclastic ‘brewhauses’ have disappeared in favor of corporate operators. Wisconsin has successfully ignored this trend toward consolidation and efficiency, however. Traditional bars continue to thrive here, under weathered signs for Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Style, or Blatz. Typically, each watering hole exudes a specific character that is compelling and unique. In a single city block, one may discover a half-dozen friendly spots for adult beverages. The yield of barhopping in ‘Badger Country’ is pure refreshment and conversation on par with that enjoyed by yonder generations.

10: CHRIS FARLEY – This cheerful veteran of NBC’s ‘Saturday Night Live’ passed away in 1997. He was a native of Madison, Wisconsin. Farley projected an extreme version of the ‘big guy’ persona popularized by John Belushi. Despite his weight, Farley performed a cartwheel on ‘The Tonight Show’ with Jay Leno, when his Green Bay Packers reached Superbowl XXXI. Many fans remember him as Matt Foley, a motivational speaker and resident of ‘a van down by the river.’ Farley went on to appear in several films, including ‘Tommy Boy’ and ‘Beverly Hills Ninja.’

9: COOL CITY NAMES – Think of traveling through places like Baraboo, Kaukauna, Kenosha, Kewaunee, Manitowoc, Menomonie, Neenah, Oconomowoc, Onalaska, Oshkosh, Peshtigo, Pewaukee, Sevastopol, Sheboygan, Waupaca, or Wauwatosa. Just learning to properly pronounce such destinations is an adventure in itself!

8: MILWAUKEE BREWERS – Poor weather in Cleveland as the 2007 MLB season began, meant that the Indians’ Home Opener was delayed, again and again… and again! Finally, a neutral site was needed to host Tribe games on a temporary basis. Miller Park in Milwaukee provided our hometown heroes with a friendly place to compete. It was a goodwill gesture in keeping with the Brewers’ cheerful approach to baseball. After all – this is a team supported by The World Famous Klements Racing Sausages! Named Bratwurst, Polish, Italian, Hot Dog and Chorizo, they offer a surreal compliment to each home game.

7: NESTLE’S CHOCOLATE – Burlington, Wisconsin is known as ‘Chocolate City’ thanks to the presence of this notable maker of dark-hued delights. Their summer time ‘Chocolate Fest’ celebrates the tasty treat in all of its wondrous forms. Visitors are able to enjoy a ‘Chocolate Kingdom’ complete with a prince and princess who reign over the ‘Chocolate Castle.’

6: BRATS & SAUSAGE – Consumption of these prepared meats is imperative in the Upper Midwest. Though bratwurst has gained national appeal during recent years, such hearty nourishment is devoured with extra gusto in Wisconsin. Want to expand your carnivorous expertise? Or explode notions of dietary correctness? Why not enjoy ring bologna, braunschweiger, or blood sausage? All are great with potato salad and garlic pickles… and beer!

5: CHEESE CURDS – Wisconsin is well known across America for solidified dairy products. But the true ‘curds’ made here are a snack not easily found elsewhere. They offer flavor and satisfaction, one bite at a time!

4: THE GREEN BAY PACKERS – NFL history could not be told without speaking of this venerable franchise. As the league’s only public-owned team, it can never be taken from adoring fans. Begun by Curly Lambeau and George Calhoun in 1919, the football club has survived incredible twists and turns of fate. It was named in honor of their original sponsor, The Indian Packing Company. Today, former coach Vince Lombardi is revered as an icon of the game by fans, everywhere. Their collection of twelve championship titles remains the league’s best.

3: TRADITIONAL BEER – Take your pick. First, there was Old Milwaukee, Schlitz, Pabst, Gettleman, and Blatz. Now, other brands have taken center stage. How about a frosty Leinenkugels? Or a Point Lager? The durable, blue-collar brew, Heileman’s Old Style? Or perhaps a tasty, LaCrosse Lager? In Wisconsin, down-to-earth brews are a must! If it can’t be chugged comfortably while tailgating, they don’t want it in the cooler!

2: HARLEY-DAVIDSON – Undeniably, this is Wisconsin’s most famous export. From the ‘Silent Gray Fellow’ of yesteryear, to today’s post-modern ‘V-Rod,’ Harley is a global phenomenon. Not only is the company unique for its products, but also its heritage and traditions. H-D’s ability to reinvent itself, and reinterpret old ideas, is remarkable.

1: LIZ – None of the above entries can compete with the best thing of all about Wisconsin… my wife was born near Milwaukee. If not for her, I would have no inspiration for columns like this… so sweets, let me say thanks to you!

Our stay in Badger Country went quickly. The days blurred into a single, rapid merry-go-round whirl! We barely had time to enjoy family gatherings, ham sandwiches, and sightseeing. But it lifted our spirits. The drive home reverberated with memories and song. Contentment made us mellow. It was a pause we’d needed.

By the border of Indiana, our stash of Usinger’s beef sticks and Henning’s smoked string cheese had been exhausted. Home waited for us, to the east. We were glad to be headed toward familiar soil. Yet everyone was equally satisfied to have enjoyed a few fleeting hours, away!

FROM THE GEAUGA COUNTY MAPLE LEAF, CHARDON, OHIO