“Biz Woman vs. Soccer Mom”
c. 2007 Rod Ice
All rights reserved
(2-07)
Chasing career goals can be addictive, yet unfulfilling. There is a prevalent temptation to judge success and failure in capitalistic terms. Yet gains made for an employer do not always translate into personal rewards. Lasting wealth will not come from the ability to gather money or power. Empires inevitably crumble over time. Only love lasts forever. Real value lies in friendship, family, and faith.
I considered such thoughts recently, over dinner. Soccer Fairy, my eight-year-old advisor, suggested a writing project about working mothers. While it might be similar to a column I wrote last year about the contrast of work responsibilities and household needs. But the new feature would address such issues from a woman’s perspective.
Liz applauded the idea after further discussion. She was enthusiastic about sharing in the creation of a manuscript. "More newspaper royalties for your wife!"
"No," I responded. "For The Fairy. She thought of it first."
Her reply came with a smile. "Close enough. We can share the compensation. Donuts for everyone!"
"Even Quigley?" our little one cheered.
"You and sister Leigh. But not the Pomeranian!" my wife retorted.
A fresh pot of coffee helped focus my thoughts as they disappeared. Our daily routines had begun, once more. I started writing as the morning continued:
BIZ WOMAN VS. SOCCER MOM
BIZ: Knows all her company’s executives by name.
S. MOM: Knows all the kids in her neighborhood by name.
BIZ: Can change a business presentation without losing her focus.
S. MOM: Can change a baby’s diaper without losing her appetite.
BIZ: Can perform an office audit in record time.
S. MOM: Can perform a Teddy Bear wedding or a goldfish funeral, from memory.
BIZ: Knows how to trim unapproved expenditures from the company budget.
S. MOM: Knows how to carefully trim the bangs of her fidgety children.
BIZ: Is able to motivate employees like Donald Trump
S. MOM – Is able to motivate kids like Willy Wonka.
BIZ: Visits a gym to stay fit and work out frustrations.
S. MOM: Has chocolate with friends to stay emotionally balanced and talk out her frustrations.
BIZ: Once drove a VW. Now owns a Lexus with all the toys.
S. MOM: Once drove a VW. Now owns a minivan full of toys, sports equipment, extra uniforms, and juice boxes.
BIZ: Proud that she can do it on her own.
S. MOM: Proud that she can do it on her own, but takes the family along, anyway.
BIZ: Can read a profit & loss statement with masterful comprehension.
S. MOM: Can read a grade school report on sea turtles with masterful comprehension.
BIZ: Understands the need for cost cutting and layoffs.
S. MOM: Understands the need for sprinkles on a cupcake.
BIZ: Takes her children to promotional exhibitions for a learning experience.
S. MOM: Takes her children bowling to learn through play.
BIZ: Wears a ‘power suit’ covered with company medallions.
S. MOM: Wears a sweatshirt and jeans covered with finger paints.
BIZ: Can sing the words to an Italian Opera.
S. MOM: Can sing the theme to ‘Jimmy Neutron.’
BIZ: Thinks going to Quail Hollow is a great reward.
S. MOM: Thinks going to Dairy Queen is a great reward.
BIZ: Read the story of former General Electric CEO Jack Welch, and was inspired.
S. MOM: Read the story of Spongebob Squarepants and was inspired.
BIZ: Feels sorry for people who have to live on peanut butter sandwiches.
S. MOM: Feels sorry for people who can’t have peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk.
BIZ: Enjoys watching ‘Lou Dobbs Tonight’ and ‘Forbes on Fox.’
S. MOM: Enjoys watching ‘Phil of the Future’ and ‘That’s So Raven.’
BIZ: Has read every volume of wisdom penned by Dale Carnegie.
S. MOM: Has read every volume of ‘Geronimo Stilton.’
BIZ: Looks to corporate headquarters for guidance.
S. MOM: Looks to her family and church for guidance.
BIZ: Believes in her training; trusts regimentation.
S. MOM: Believes in love; trusts her heart.
BIZ: Feels no sadness over conquering competitors.
S. MOM: Feels no shame for crying over those in need.
BIZ: Can fix her own computer when problems develop.
S. MOM: Can wash a puppy, mend a doll, doctor a scraped knee, comfort a sick baby, and replace a flat tire. All before dinner.
BIZ: Is able to forecast labor needs, six months in advance.
S. MOM: Is able to shop for birthdays, graduations, and Christmas, six months in advance.
BIZ: At the office after others have gone home.
S. MOM: At home after others have gone to the office.
BIZ: Negotiates with unionized labor about workplace duties.
S. MOM: Negotiates with her children about finishing homework.
BIZ: Thinks her company boss is tough, but fair.
S. MOM: Knows she is the household boss. Strives hard to be tough but fair.
BIZ: Proud to spend extra time at corporate training seminars.
S. MOM: Proud to spend extra time at after-school events.
BIZ: Invests in the success of her employer. Hopes not to get fired.
S. MOM: Invests in the success of her family. Can’t be fired.
BIZ: Looks like a model, thinks on command.
S. MOM: Looks like her mother, thinks on her own.
BIZ: Is confident in her ability to drive company profits.
S. MOM: Is confident in her ability to drive a minivan while passing out snacks, reading a map, talking on a cell phone, and applying makeup.
BIZ: Feared by others in the boardroom.
S. MOM: Loved by others in her church.
BIZ: Is adored by a family that appreciates her career achievements.
S. MOM: Is adored by a family that actually spends time with their mother.
BIZ: Owns a stock portfolio worth thousands of dollars.
S. MOM: Owns her soul. Doesn’t want anything more.
My column brought a smile to Liz’s face after we enjoyed dinner. She read each entry with a thoughtful nod, and an occasional gasp. "You’ve illustrated the frustration of being a working mom. Where do you place loyalty? And trust? It isn’t always an easy decision."
"No," I agreed.
"My career is important," she continued. "But you guys… are everything!"
Soccer Fairy offered her own slant on the discussion. "I know the hardest choice of all…"
"Really?" Liz replied. "What is that, sweetie?"
"Picking out Donuts with our money. Do we get them chocolate covered, with powdered sugar, or cinnamon?"
"How about some dusted with crushed pork rinds?" I said. "Or corn chips?"
Soccer Fairy squeaked like an irritated mouse. "Roddyyyy!"
"Are you happy now?" my wife exclaimed.
I bowed my head. "If you need me, I’ll be in the doghouse, with Quigley. Don’t forget to drop off some of those treats!"
All rights reserved
(2-07)
Chasing career goals can be addictive, yet unfulfilling. There is a prevalent temptation to judge success and failure in capitalistic terms. Yet gains made for an employer do not always translate into personal rewards. Lasting wealth will not come from the ability to gather money or power. Empires inevitably crumble over time. Only love lasts forever. Real value lies in friendship, family, and faith.
I considered such thoughts recently, over dinner. Soccer Fairy, my eight-year-old advisor, suggested a writing project about working mothers. While it might be similar to a column I wrote last year about the contrast of work responsibilities and household needs. But the new feature would address such issues from a woman’s perspective.
Liz applauded the idea after further discussion. She was enthusiastic about sharing in the creation of a manuscript. "More newspaper royalties for your wife!"
"No," I responded. "For The Fairy. She thought of it first."
Her reply came with a smile. "Close enough. We can share the compensation. Donuts for everyone!"
"Even Quigley?" our little one cheered.
"You and sister Leigh. But not the Pomeranian!" my wife retorted.
A fresh pot of coffee helped focus my thoughts as they disappeared. Our daily routines had begun, once more. I started writing as the morning continued:
BIZ WOMAN VS. SOCCER MOM
BIZ: Knows all her company’s executives by name.
S. MOM: Knows all the kids in her neighborhood by name.
BIZ: Can change a business presentation without losing her focus.
S. MOM: Can change a baby’s diaper without losing her appetite.
BIZ: Can perform an office audit in record time.
S. MOM: Can perform a Teddy Bear wedding or a goldfish funeral, from memory.
BIZ: Knows how to trim unapproved expenditures from the company budget.
S. MOM: Knows how to carefully trim the bangs of her fidgety children.
BIZ: Is able to motivate employees like Donald Trump
S. MOM – Is able to motivate kids like Willy Wonka.
BIZ: Visits a gym to stay fit and work out frustrations.
S. MOM: Has chocolate with friends to stay emotionally balanced and talk out her frustrations.
BIZ: Once drove a VW. Now owns a Lexus with all the toys.
S. MOM: Once drove a VW. Now owns a minivan full of toys, sports equipment, extra uniforms, and juice boxes.
BIZ: Proud that she can do it on her own.
S. MOM: Proud that she can do it on her own, but takes the family along, anyway.
BIZ: Can read a profit & loss statement with masterful comprehension.
S. MOM: Can read a grade school report on sea turtles with masterful comprehension.
BIZ: Understands the need for cost cutting and layoffs.
S. MOM: Understands the need for sprinkles on a cupcake.
BIZ: Takes her children to promotional exhibitions for a learning experience.
S. MOM: Takes her children bowling to learn through play.
BIZ: Wears a ‘power suit’ covered with company medallions.
S. MOM: Wears a sweatshirt and jeans covered with finger paints.
BIZ: Can sing the words to an Italian Opera.
S. MOM: Can sing the theme to ‘Jimmy Neutron.’
BIZ: Thinks going to Quail Hollow is a great reward.
S. MOM: Thinks going to Dairy Queen is a great reward.
BIZ: Read the story of former General Electric CEO Jack Welch, and was inspired.
S. MOM: Read the story of Spongebob Squarepants and was inspired.
BIZ: Feels sorry for people who have to live on peanut butter sandwiches.
S. MOM: Feels sorry for people who can’t have peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate milk.
BIZ: Enjoys watching ‘Lou Dobbs Tonight’ and ‘Forbes on Fox.’
S. MOM: Enjoys watching ‘Phil of the Future’ and ‘That’s So Raven.’
BIZ: Has read every volume of wisdom penned by Dale Carnegie.
S. MOM: Has read every volume of ‘Geronimo Stilton.’
BIZ: Looks to corporate headquarters for guidance.
S. MOM: Looks to her family and church for guidance.
BIZ: Believes in her training; trusts regimentation.
S. MOM: Believes in love; trusts her heart.
BIZ: Feels no sadness over conquering competitors.
S. MOM: Feels no shame for crying over those in need.
BIZ: Can fix her own computer when problems develop.
S. MOM: Can wash a puppy, mend a doll, doctor a scraped knee, comfort a sick baby, and replace a flat tire. All before dinner.
BIZ: Is able to forecast labor needs, six months in advance.
S. MOM: Is able to shop for birthdays, graduations, and Christmas, six months in advance.
BIZ: At the office after others have gone home.
S. MOM: At home after others have gone to the office.
BIZ: Negotiates with unionized labor about workplace duties.
S. MOM: Negotiates with her children about finishing homework.
BIZ: Thinks her company boss is tough, but fair.
S. MOM: Knows she is the household boss. Strives hard to be tough but fair.
BIZ: Proud to spend extra time at corporate training seminars.
S. MOM: Proud to spend extra time at after-school events.
BIZ: Invests in the success of her employer. Hopes not to get fired.
S. MOM: Invests in the success of her family. Can’t be fired.
BIZ: Looks like a model, thinks on command.
S. MOM: Looks like her mother, thinks on her own.
BIZ: Is confident in her ability to drive company profits.
S. MOM: Is confident in her ability to drive a minivan while passing out snacks, reading a map, talking on a cell phone, and applying makeup.
BIZ: Feared by others in the boardroom.
S. MOM: Loved by others in her church.
BIZ: Is adored by a family that appreciates her career achievements.
S. MOM: Is adored by a family that actually spends time with their mother.
BIZ: Owns a stock portfolio worth thousands of dollars.
S. MOM: Owns her soul. Doesn’t want anything more.
My column brought a smile to Liz’s face after we enjoyed dinner. She read each entry with a thoughtful nod, and an occasional gasp. "You’ve illustrated the frustration of being a working mom. Where do you place loyalty? And trust? It isn’t always an easy decision."
"No," I agreed.
"My career is important," she continued. "But you guys… are everything!"
Soccer Fairy offered her own slant on the discussion. "I know the hardest choice of all…"
"Really?" Liz replied. "What is that, sweetie?"
"Picking out Donuts with our money. Do we get them chocolate covered, with powdered sugar, or cinnamon?"
"How about some dusted with crushed pork rinds?" I said. "Or corn chips?"
Soccer Fairy squeaked like an irritated mouse. "Roddyyyy!"
"Are you happy now?" my wife exclaimed.
I bowed my head. "If you need me, I’ll be in the doghouse, with Quigley. Don’t forget to drop off some of those treats!"
FROM THE GEAUGA COUNTY MAPLE LEAF NEWSPAPER, CHARDON, OHIO
posted by Rod Ice at 8:11 PM
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