“Radios and Candy”

c. 2007 Rod Ice
All rights reserved
(2-07)




It was a frosty afternoon in Eastern Geauga. A devious wind scattered trash containers in the yard, while I drank coffee. Our windows were layered with elegant crystals. For once, I felt glad to be inside. Winter’s blustery force was in full effect!
I had just finished gathering resume information for a prospective employer in California. While searching the Internet, I had stumbled across Paisano Publications in Agoura Hills. The company owned several ‘lifestyle’ magazines, including a successor to one that I had written for in the 1980’s. It seemed logical to e-mail their Human Resources department about writing features. With modern technology, such contact was easy to accomplish.
Suddenly, my routine was derailed by the appearance of a petite, eight-year-old girl. Soccer Fairy was home from school! She smiled cheerfully, and twirled into the room with Quigley the Pomeranian. “Look Roddy! I’m dancing with the stars!”
Our dog yelped playfully. He was a very cooperative pet.
“How was your day?” I asked.
She dropped the pup while looking around my office. “Good! We made snacks out of construction paper. It was in art class…”
I puzzled over her story. “Snacks?”
“Yes,” she said, fidgeting with a folded piece of paper. “A cookie, a Pop Tart, popcorn, fries, and a glass of tea with lemon. And a chocolate football. And doggie treats that are okay for people, too.”
“Dog AND human treats?” I laughed.
“Yes!” she insisted. “So they can share!”
I nodded. “Of course. That makes a lot of sense.”
Soccer Fairy began to twirl again. Her eyes darted across the room. “Roddy, why do you have so many old radios?
Her question caught me unprepared. “Radios?”
“Look!” she said, smartly. “One, two, three, four, five, six… you have six just in here!”
I pointed my finger and counted silently. “Hmmmmm. One, two, three…” She was right. There were six radios around us, in a variety of colors and sizes.
“Do you listen to all of them?” she asked with wide eyes.
“Uhhh, no, not usually,” I admitted.
She giggled. “That’s silly! How many more do you have?”
I thought for a moment. “Well, probably twenty or thirty. Maybe more…”
Her eyes became enormous. “Why???”
I bowed my head. “That’s a good question. Why so many…I started collecting a long time ago. The fascination began with a gray Silvertone table model, made out of plastic. It was a Christmas present. Then I got a new transistor receiver with an earphone. After that, my uncle discovered an Emerson from the 30’s in his garage. And I found a Philco console radio with my dad, after school. Those treasures used to decorate my first office, in Virginia.”
“You had an office… in Virginia?” she beamed.
My answer filled her with wonder. “When I was not much older than you.”
“When you were eight?” she said.
“I would have been nine or ten. My desk was a trash barrel with scrap plywood for a top.” The tale sounded like part of a child’s novel. “I made a fan for the summer with an electric motor and a model airplane propeller. But my best creation was a studio microphone. For ‘WOLF’ radio…”
Soccer Fairy blushed. “You had a radio station?”
“Not exactly,” I said. “I took the base from a broken appliance and made a stand. Then I took two spray-can caps and poked holes in one of them. A tiny speaker from my transistor radio provided the electrical guts. I wired it to a tape recorder and did my own shows.”
She was amused. “That sounds like fun!”
“It was,” I agreed. “Eventually, my friend from the other side of town built a small transmitter to use with the microphone. His dad worked for General Electric, so they had lots of spare parts.”
“Wowwww!” she exclaimed. “So then you got a job at a real station?”
I was embarrassed. “Uh, no… not exactly. After high school, I studied television for eighteen months. Then, retail life took over. I ended up managing a grocery store, instead.”
She gave me a hug. “It’s okay, Roddy. I like grocery stores. That’s where Mommy gets us donuts!”
My heart was gladdened by her remark. Yet I still wondered about the homemade present in her hand. “Anyway, did you make something for ME in art class?”
She covered her mouth. An ornery grin spread under her tiny fingers.
“Okay, stinker,” I said. “What’s so funny?”
Soccer Fairy pretended to be shy. “Oh it isn’t something from school…” She unfolded the sheet of paper carefully. “It is for you, but I made it… ummm, on the computer!”
I felt the onset of curious confusion. “On the computer? Did you write a story?”
With a dramatic sweep, she opened the page. “It isn’t a story, it’s… you!” Before me was the image of a giant piece of candy!
“What??” I blurted out with surprise. “That’s me??”
She sounded like a baby being tickled. “Hee hee hee!”
My eyes scanned the picture, intently. Slicked-back hair, brown glasses over big eyes, an orange shell, a red bowtie and matching Converse sneakers… it was like a vision from the Willy Wonka dimension. “Do I really look like that?”
“Yes!” she chirped.
I nodded, in awe. “Wowwww. That’s really wild!”
The front door flew open, before I could say another word. Liz had finished her workday, at last. “Hey everybody! I’m home!”
“We’re in the office,” I shouted. “Come and take a look at something cool!”
“Yeah!” Soccer Fairy cheered.
My wife kicked off her heels, and skipped through the kitchen. “First, I want kisses!”
We shared a family hug. Then, our little one waved her M & M creation. “Look at this, Mom! It’s Roddy!!!!!”
Liz gasped. “Oh my!” She looked at the image, then at me, and then… she laughed out loud. “Oh my, oh myyyy!”
I went red. “A good likeness, do you think?”
She looked guilty. “I helped the Fairy find their website. It looked really cute. The address is ‘www.BecomeAnMM.com.’ But I never expected this!”
My eyes narrowed. “I should have known! What’s next? Making Quigley over as a Milk Dud? Or Grumpy the cat as a Jolly Rancher? He’d have to be an Un-jolly Rancher, though…”
“You’re such a poo!” she squealed.
“Not at all!” I disagreed. “Your husband is now a round chunk of chocolate. Candy-coated, and oh-so-sweet!”
Soccer Fairy pretended to hold a microphone in her hand. “Welcome to the Mommy & Roddy show… live on WOLF!”

FROM THE GEAUGA COUNTY MAPLE LEAF, CHARDON, OHIO