“Letter to a Canine Hero”

c. 2006 Rod Ice
All rights reserved
(12-06)


DEC. 28, 2006 (THE MAPLE LEAF) – “Geauga County K-9 Midge just can’t escape the world-wide fame her nose and size have brought her. Not only has the Chihuahua-Rat Terrier mix become a world-wide media star, she now holds the world’s record for being the smallest police dog… Last week, the Sheriff received an official letter in a large envelope that included a Guinness World Record certificate…”

It was a windy Geauga afternoon. I had been working in our home office since morning. Unread mail was piled nearby. Fresh coffee ebbed steam from a cup on my desk. Household pets busied themselves with playtime. Yet only a single concern held the moment. How would I choose a subject for the next Maple Leaf column?
News stories had been plentiful in recent weeks. It was also tempting to offer some sort of year-end retrospective. But I wanted to compose something more personal. A feature born of authenticity and creative inspiration.
My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. It sounded erratic, but insistent. “I’m just sitting here at the computer. Come on in!”
Soccer Fairy appeared with a childish grin. She was stylishly dressed in a pink sweat suit. Her blonde hair glistened. I suspected that she had been thinking up some sort of ingenious, eight-year-old scheme. There was a folded piece of notebook paper in her hand. “Hi Roddy!”
I spun in my chair. “What’s up, girl? You look determined today…”
She smoothed the paper between her fingers. “I need to mail a letter. Do we have any stamps?”
I smiled. “A letter? To who, Grandma Cali?”
“Uhhh, no,” she whispered. “It is for the Sheriff.”
I went red. “What? For the Sheriff? Is this a school project?”
Soccer Fairy shook her head. “No, the letter is from Quigley.”
“From the… DOG??” I said in disbelief.
Our light brown puppy stood on his hind legs. “Arf!”
“Yes!” she answered. “He wrote a letter… to Midge!”
I burst into full-blown laughter. “Ohhhhh, okay! Now I get it. Hahaha. Quigley wrote a letter to another dog. The Geauga County Sheriff’s dog!”
She tapped her toe. “Yes!”
I went blank. “Okay. A dog wrote a letter…”
“No silly,” she said. “Dogs can’t hold a pencil. I wrote it for him. He barked the words and I put them on paper. Then I made a fancy border with the art set you and Mommy got me for Christmas. I thought it would be perfect for the newspaper.”
Our pet yelped with pride. “Arrrrrf!”
My embarrassment couldn’t be hidden. “Sure. He barked, and you played stenographer and publicity agent, all in one.”
“Played… what?” she asked.
“You wrote the words,” I said. “Our beautiful eight-year-old athlete also speaks fluent dog…”
“No teasing!” she squeaked.
“How about a note from Grumpy the Siamese cat? I’ll bet Sheriff McClelland has a cat somewhere. Meowwww. Mrrowwww! Rrrrrowww!!”
“Stop it!” she giggled.
“Maybe he even has a goose…” I continued. “We could wing it with a fowled-up letter from the AFLAC bird! Honk honk honkkkkkkkkkkk!”
“Roddy!!!!!!!!!” she screeched. “Quit being crazy!”
I relented at last. “Well, I guess there’s no point in arguing…”
She brightened with hope. “So will you help me, pleeeeease? I need a stamp!”
I reached for a desk drawer. “Sure. But can I read the letter, first?”
Soccer Fairy agreed without hesitation. The document was a colorful page, done in hues of neon pink, blue, purple, and lime green. I read it aloud as she listened:

“Dear Midge,

My name is Quigley Padderson. I am an eight-pound, male Pomeranian from Thompson Township. My family got me from the Geauga Humane Society.
Anyway, I get picked on a lot because I am so small. Pick, pick, pick. At home, two out of three cats are bigger than I am. But that doesn’t stop me from trying to stand tall. I do my doggie best to let those furballs know who runs the household. I can make a lot of noise for a little yapper! But they just laugh when I bark. The only animals I can really boss around are gerbils. And they won’t come out of the cage when I’m there. Cousin Dree calls me a ‘Doggie Mc Nugget.’ I don’t get respect from anything bigger than a ladybug. It’s tough being me.
My keeper writes for The Maple Leaf newspaper, and saw you on the front cover. He said that you were certified as the world’s smallest police dog. That made me very proud! I walk with confidence now, knowing that you can help fight crime, in spite of being little. It proves that everybody has a special place in the world. Now, I feel good about being so tiny!
I hope you have a good New Year. Take care, and be safe!

-- Your Friend, Quigley”


I was impressed. The letter showed an adult sense of focus and composition. “Very well done, sweetie. Quigley could be a canine journalist.”
Soccer Fairy was pleased. “Well…Mommy did help a little.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Aha! That explains Quigley’s impressive vocabulary. So this is a total-family project?”
She nodded. “Welcome to the club!”
Suddenly, my wife appeared, with her own cup of java. “It’s so good to be home from work! How is everyone?” We traded hugs after she slipped out of her overcoat.
I scanned my watch. “Is it that late already?”
Liz fretted with her auburn hair. “It was madness at the store today. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.”
The Fairy held out her poochie letter. “We’re going to put this in the mail!”
I took a deep breath. “Yeah… our dog is a writer. How impressive!”
My wife covered her mouth. “I was meaning to tell you about that…”
“A letter to Midge, Geauga County’s most famous citizen,” I said, smartly. “From a down-home pup in the boondocks. This is real news, up-to-the minute.”
“Maybe we can be on television, too!” Soccer Fairy proclaimed.
I reached for the phone. “No problem. Hello, WKYC Channel Three? This is Rod calling from The Maple Leaf newspaper. Mark Nolan is a personal friend of mine. Uhhh… I see him every day. Anyhow, I’ve got a dog that can write, and an eight-year-old who thinks like a college student…forget your evening broadcast. I’ve got guaranteed ratings, right here!”
Liz almost spilled her coffee. “You’re such a poo!”
Quigley dropped to the floor. Talk of a media appearance made him faint!
Our girl shook the letter, impatiently. “It’s getting late! We need to put this in the mailbox!”
My wife reached for her coat. “Come on, we’ll go while the car is still warm. Just let me change out of these heels.”
The Fairy cheered. “Yaaaaaay!”
“By the way, what’s for dinner?” Liz said, quizzically. “Aren’t you normally playing hillbilly gourmet by this hour on the clock?”
I fumbled for useful words. “Uhhhh, well, I uhmmm…”
Quigley was still dizzy. He rolled around on the floor. “Rowf!”
My wife didn’t wait for a plausible excuse to develop. “See you in a few minutes, Chef Rodney! I love you!!”

FROM THE GEAUGA COUNTY MAPLE LEAF CHARDON, OHIO